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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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So, the Pope is dead. Long live the Pope. Better still, we are told, canonise him - make him a saint so his name will live for ever.
 
His funeral was an impressive affair, attended by the highest dignitaries and crowned heads from around the world, watched by millions on TV and fêted across the pages of all our newspapers.
 
But wasn't this the same man who forbade raped women in Kosovo to use the "morning after pill"? Who thus condemned them to bearing the children of an alien faith and caused many of them, their country not being famous for its religious and social tolerance, to be outcast from their communities through no fault of their own? The same man about whom the International Planned Parenthood Federation said they were appalled by such an 'apparent indifference to human suffering', while the United Nations Population Fund was shocked by such 'insensitivity'? The man accused by Marie Stopes International of being out of touch with refugees?
 
The Pope in his wisdom claimed that emergency contraception using the morning after pill was 'a real abortion technique'. 'Every post-coital contraception is by definition abortive,' said his spokesman, the vice-president of the Pontifical Academy for Life, and a Vatican spokeswoman said 'use of the day-after pill is not permitted by Catholic morality because it is abortive. A murder does not become less grave because of the circumstances in which it takes place.'
 
In fact these are lies. The morning-after pill, which must be taken within 72 hours of intercourse, only works before implantation. It works by either preventing the release of an egg from the ovaries, blocking sperm from fertilizing an egg, or preventing implantation. Thus it does not abort a foetus that has already begun its journey towards life. But I suppose we shouldn't expect a saint to bother himself with mundane things like scientific facts.
 
No one knows how many Kosovan Albanian women were raped during the war. Many, understandably, would not talk about it because they knew they would be shunned by their families and friends. A spokeswoman for Marie Stopes International said women in the camps were suicidal at the prospect of bearing their Serb rapists' babies and would opt for this rather than giving birth. So they are hardly likely to understand Pope John Paul's advice "to turn their rape into an act of love by "accepting" the enemy into them and making him "flesh of their own flesh" by carrying their pregnancies to term".
 
And there is worse. This putative "saint" ordered African Catholics not to use condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS. Africa is home to nearly two-thirds of all the estimated 40 million people living with HIV or AIDS in the world. The disease has reduced life expectancy below 40 years in Botswana, the Central African Republic, Lesotho, Malawi, Mozambique, Rwanda, Swaziland, Zambia and Zimbabwe. There are 100 million Catholics in Africa, and The New Statesman claimed that the Pope did more to spread AIDS than 'prostitution and the trucking industry combined'.
 
The New Statesman carried a picture of the Pope on its cover, with the slogan 'Blood of innocents on his hands: Pope John Paul II helped keep the continent of Africa disease-ridden….' Writer Polly Toynbee described the Pope as 'a man whose edict killed millions', and human rights activist Peter Tatchell said 'Millions of people in developing countries are orphans, having lost their parents to AIDS because of the Pope's anti-condom dogma.' And we are supposed to think this man could be a saint?
 
Luckily we are told that many Catholics in Africa simply disobey the Pope's orders and carry on using condoms, so the holy man's edicts may not be having quite the malign affect once feared. But the fact that some people don't obey bad orders doesn't excuse those who issued the orders. In the Second World War there were no doubt many German soldiers who behaved honourably and humanely, but that didn't make the Nazis right.
 
I imagine there are many people who would sympathise with the Catholic view that if women don't want children (or AIDS) they should simply not have sex until they're married. That doesn't help women who are raped, of course. And does AIDS only affect unmarried people? Of course it doesn't - and there are plenty of other ways to catch it apart from sex. So even a good little, pure little African virgin bride can still be at risk. What is she to do? Refrain from having sex with her husband?
 
But no. That won't do either. The church says that marriage is ordained for the procreation of children. Therefore it is a woman's duty to have children with her husband. After all, God designed us for this purpose - young women are flooded with hormones that make them want to have sex and make babies (young men's hormones are a little different - they just want to have sex). So anything our little African virgin bride does to thwart God's intention must be just as heinous a sin as abortion. Having a headache is a sin. The rhythm method must be a sin. Withdrawal is a sin. Just keeping her legs together is a sin.
 
Must be tough being a Catholic woman. You must accept rape as an act of love, you have to drop babies at every opportunity, and you can't get to be the next Pope. You just can't win, really.
 

 

 
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